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Cracking Open The Heart
Egypt 2001 Part 3

Ever since I was given the Wounded Heart Parable in the spring of l995, I have been on a conscious journey to uncover and understand the beauty and value of the "broken" human heart. (I have included that parable at the end of this story). We have all been taught to fear, avoid and run from anything that might break our hearts. Yet, I wondered, if it is such a terrible thing to have happen, why do we continually create it? One thing I know beyond a shadow of doubt on my Spiritual journey, is that all of our creations have value. Nothing is to be feared but only to be integrated. I have since pursued the purpose and value of the heart that has been cracked. After the parable, I realized that the only way to have a truly open heart is to create emotions so intense that the pain of the situation allows you to feel more deeply than you would ever choose to feel. As with all things, this then allows us to feel joy at a truly more powerful level also and at some point these two opposite emotions will spiral together in integration leaving an open and powerfully real heart to guide you.. So, with that preface, I begin the third part of my Awakening the Star Codes Trilogy.

As I have mentioned before, everything about this journey to Egypt shifted and changed until the stage had been set and the perfect crew assembled for the mission. When Lauren Pomeranz of Songbird Music joined Carol Petropoulos and I as a facilitator, we realized that we would be awakening the star codes through sound and feelings. As we shared, Lauren felt she wanted to bring her crystal bowl (These bowls are awesome recoding and sound instruments used to heal and expand consciousness when used in purity). Her bowl was a D on the musical scale, which corresponded to the tone of the human heart. The problem was that her bowl was quite large and fragile and as much as she desired the sound, she didn't feel it could safely make the journey with all the other things she needed to bring. I told her about my smaller 12" hand- held healing crystal bowl. I bought my bowl four years earlier when my husband's large D crystal bowl cracked while at a Spring Equinox bonfire under my care. I played it for her and she said it was a G, which usually relates to the throat or the thymus (high heart). We both knew that a second heart is manifesting that is to become the Spiritual heart of mankind or, as some say, the high heart. We felt very excited that my smaller, easier to handle bowl was probably the exact sound we would need on our journey.

As I prepared for our journey, I found a square, collapsible cooler that was very padded and the bowl fit perfectly. I wrapped the bowl in bubble wrap and hand carried it easily on plane. After our nine-hour flight from NYC the night before, we awoke in Cairo to our first full day in Egypt. It had poured in the early morning hours and we awoke to flooded streets and puddles everywhere. This is quite rare in the dessert. Our Egyptian friends told us we brought the blessing of the rain. We went directly up to the Giza Plateau, just a short ways from our hotel. The grouped looked in awe and wonder at the three pyramids and the Sphinx, just down the hill, guarding this powerful and special vortex. No matter how many times I experience this place on earth, it never ceases to move me. The first sacred site we visited was the third and smallest pyramid, Mycerinus. We entered with all the other tourists and climbed deep, down into the lower chamber where we formed a circle on the rocks and began our ceremony. Lauren began playing the bowl. However beautiful it may have sounded in the hundreds of other places it had vibrated, this sound was beyond incredible. As we opened and shared our hearts in this circle our first day, a bond was formed…and awesome group heart was birthed. As tourists came and went into the chamber during our ceremony, some were stilled to silence and connected with us and others grew very uncomfortable and talked loudly. They attempted to be disruptive. Our energy field held it all and when we had completed, we were stunned by how powerful our very first moments in Egypt were.

The next day, we traveled to Sakarra, home of the largest step pyramid in the world. Our guide, Amro, obtained very unusual permission for us to enter the step pyramid which has been closed to the public for some years as there is concern about its stability. We could do a private ceremony but, most likely, no sound would be allowed. The authorities were concerned about what the sound vibrations might create inside so unstable a structure. Although we were disappointed, we all agreed that this was a special opportunity. Carol mentioned she had only one other group allowed into Sakarra and when they began to tone, the guards made them stop immediately.

When were arrived at Sakarra, we traveled the long tunnel into the center of the pyramid at ground level. The very center core was totally open as high as you could see and down into the earth beyond any ascertainable bottom. I felt how fragile it was with its step structure and NO middle to support the weight. The guards turned off the lights for us and Lauren began with the bowl. We felt we would at least see if it were possible to continue our sound work, as it felt very needed. The bowl sounded as Lauren called in the archangels, masters, guides, and guardians. We all began to create a beautiful sound in complete entrainment (that is when all sounds come together in melodious frequency…hard in a group at first). We were never asked to stop. And, when we completed our ceremony, we were told that the guards actually felt our sounds were healing and permitted us to continue. Once again, the bowl was setting such an awesome vibration for our group heart. I was so glad we had followed intuition and brought the sound of the high heart on our journey.

The next day we were back on our bus on our way to Alexandria. I had felt very guided to include this in our itinerary for two reasons. First this is the place were the ancient records and wisdom were kept until they were almost totally destroyed hundreds of years earlier. It is our ancient wisdom we are regaining and this felt an important place to energize as we undertook to unfold the knowledge of the power of the dark and light as they integrated in the human heart. Although most of the documents were destroyed, a limited number were retrieved and they are now housed in an awesome modern library.

On the granite walls of this new library, they have written wisdom from EVERY known language on earth including Hebrew, Arabic, Mayan, Japanese etc. Not to mention mathematics, geometry and the language of light to name just a few. It is so awesome to just gaze upon those library walls as they face the Mediterranean Sea. We ended up driving around the building at least three times during our day in Alexandria. We were definitely being coded. Talk about star codes! I felt this structure was a healing of the Tower of Babel. That was when our unity was shattered as we were separated by language so we could no longer understand each other. It made cooperation and integration all but impossible. The other reason I felt it was necessary to go to Alexandria, was to connect the oceans from the Caribbean in the Yucatan. to the Pacific Ocean in Peru and then to the Mediterranean Sea in Egypt. All of which some of us had visited in this one year.

While we were there, our guide and Egyptologist, Amro, shared with us so much wisdom as he often did on our journey. I learned that the god Serapes was the keeper of the wisdom in ancient times. He was a combination of the Egyptian God Osirus and the greek god Apollo. Serapes was always depicted with a basket on his head in which the wisdom of all times was stored. There were several statues of Serapes that had been decapitated in defiance of the ancient wisdom he held. There were several of us who felt this pain in our thoughts. My feeling was so sad for all the times in my life when I figuratively had my head taken off for speaking my wisdom and my truth. My heart ached for Serapes, myself and for all of us who have been charged with awakening the star codes and assisting this planet in reclaiming galactic knowledge and wisdom. How difficult our paths have been. How painful at times. My heart ached as I, personally, remembered these feelings in my own life.

After visiting the Catacombs of Alexandria and putting our feet into the Mediterranean Sea, we visited the retreat place Serapes (where he went to meditate). At the gateway to the temple, the Egyptian guards checked our belongings. Because of the situation brewing in the Middle East during this time, security everywhere we traveled was quite heavy. As we walked along the stone corridor and through some of the empty chambers we sought the perfect place for our ceremony. We eventually arrived in a rectangular room with alcoves along the wall. Some of us, myself included, snuggled into the alcoves as Lauren prepared to begin the ceremony. Our Egyptian friend, Gamal, had carried the bowl into the chamber and handed it to me. As I picked it up, I heard a little tinkle and my heart sank. I opened the container and unwrapped the bowl to find it had been cracked! I told the group and then sat there, stunned. Sue Isaac came to me and put her arms around me and I just began to sob. As I explored the pain, I realized I felt ashamed and guilty as I had been given responsibility as keeper of the high heart bowl and it had broken! I had cracked the heart. The pain I felt in my human heart was far beyond this one incident. It was so deep in me. The group supported me in my tears and than Carol reminded me that the guard at the entrance had checked the bowl when we entered and it and it was whole at that time! All we had done was walk several minutes to this one spot and opened up the container in which it was securely packed. It was obvious that this was not a coincidence. The heart bowl had cracked, all on its own, for a powerful and significant reason.

Although at that instant, none of us understood the meaning of the cracked heart bowl, we all new it would reveal itself as a powerful force on our journey. Before we left the chamber, we had all agreed that our group heart was to become the bowl for the remainder of our mission. We were to become the sound of the high heart! How this would unfold, we had no idea, but as we boarded our bus for the ride back to Cairo, we knew the answer would become clear.

That night in Cairo we boarded an overnight sleeping train to Aswan where we were to board our boat for the Nile Cruise. It was a wonderful experience. As the train clickty clacked over the land alongside the Nile, it was like a heart beat expanding and healing all of us. The cracked bowl traveled in our compartment with me and although I had some sadness, I was much more excited by the expansion I knew this journey was providing. I felt deep within my heart that the bowl cracked to validate and show us the beauty of the broken heart just as my dream and parable had revealed to me years before.

Arriving in Aswan early the next morning, we showered and grabbed some lunch and then got on a felucca (Egyptian sail boats that are common transportation on the Nile) to head out to the Island of Philae where the Temple of the goddess Isis stood. It is said that many of the Egyptian temples along the Nile correspond to the charkas in the human Spiritual body.

Isis, being the mother figure in Egyptian myth, (similar to Mary in our culture) is known as the goddess of birth.. One must be birthed into the human experience before one can begin to travel down the Nile opening the charkas. It is felt to be the beginning point of the chakra system. We arrived mid-afternoon and toured the temple with Amro as he watched and chatted with guards to try to provide us some sacred space in the alter chamber. Interestingly enough, this felt as if it was not going to happen. We waited the whole afternoon for our time and then, as the temple closed and all the boats left the island, our group was allowed private access to this chamber. Neither Carol nor Amro had ever experienced such an incredible occurrence at Philae. There we were, finally, all alone. I had brought the cracked bowl along as we all felt we were to continue to bring the bowl to the sites with us. When I reached in the pack to place it on the alter, I cut my hand on a sharp edge of broken crystal. I placed the broken piece of the heart bowl on the alter and, unknown to me, my hand bled during the ceremony. We created incredible sound in a remarkable unity. It was very powerful. Towards the end of the ceremony the guards were becoming nervous to have us move along and we hurriedly packed our things. As I turned to leave, I glanced at the alter and noticed I had left a fingerprint in blood on the birthing alter of Isis. As I thought about this silently on the boat ride home, I felt that the blood I left symbolized the blood revealed when our hearts crack open (blood holds the DNA codings/ star codes). This cracking heart births us into our ascension. It was now time to travel up the charkas. It was the heart bowl that created the pain that allowed the blood to flow recoding the DNA and giving birth to the galactic humans we truly are. I understand this seems all symbolic, but I also know that the acknowledgment of these symbols awakens the ancient memories.

We held group meetings daily during our journey to keep clearing our emotional bodies and sharing our insights, feelings and wisdom. In this way our group heart became stronger and more connected. That evening during group, I shared that I felt we should sink the bowl in the Nile. The bowl's crystalline structure would continue to encode the flowing waters of the Nile with the truth of the knowledge that The Wounded Heart is Truly the Healer! This felt right to everyone. Lauren had been given a vile containing water from 164 countries around the world that a friend had collected and this woman asked her to pour these waters into the Nile. It was agreed that this would be the perfect ceremony for the healing of our cracked hearts. What a ceremony this would be! Amro arranged a private felucca the next day for us. I broke some of the crystal pieces of the bowl up to give everyone a shard of the cracked heart to do with as they are guided. (In fact, I still have some pieces and if you are feeling moved by this story, I am sure you are part of the healing and I would be happy to send you a piece)

We boarded our felucca around Noon the next day, with our bowl and the vile of water. Lauren bought her guitar and she shared heart songs from many cultures as we floated into the sunshine. We all shared songs from our hearts and our Nubian boatman even bought along his drum and drummed to our heart beat, sometimes happy…sometimes sad. It all felt so transformational. Amro felt drawn to bring the boat to the foot of Elephantine Island the temple dedicated to Knum, the creator god.. Knum's island corresponds to the root chakra. We all agreed that we had cracked open the heart, given birth to the awakened star codes within us and were now ready to open the charkas beginning with the root where all creation takes root. I held the bowl in my hands and shared some of my own broken hearts. I then passed the bowl around and everyone in the group shared and blessed the broken hearts within us all. Carol knelt before me in tears as she felt the value of her deeply wounded heart. It was awesome. Amro bowed down and chanted verses from the Koran. Gamal shared his heart. Even the boatman asked to hold the bowl. Without the benefit of even understanding our language, he shed his tears in full knowing. We all gathered around the edge of the boat as I gently placed the bowl into the dark blue waters of the sacred Nile. Lauren poured the waters of the world (tears) into the sinking bowl and we all watched as the sun caught the rim of the bowl creating a brilliant reflection much like the solar disk and in a rainbow of shimmer we watched it slowly disappear from site.

From that point on our group heart was challenged and expanded with every interaction everywhere we went. We cried, screamed, hugged and became so profoundly real with each other in every moment. We shared our realness on the buses, trains and boats across all of Egypt. In fact, it was the very next morning after the sinking of the bowl, that the woman who so beautifully played the dark role for us, arrived dramatically in our midst to test the strength of our cracked heart. (That story appears in the first E-mail "Mission Accomplished).

I share this story from my heart to yours. It is my intention that together we may support one another as we ask our Souls to gently reveal our wounded hearts so may feel them bleed and breathe into the painful feelings that arise. May we hold our inner child in our arms and release the old patterns that hardened our hearts long ago. May we heal those family patterns (sins we were born into). The pain and hurt we have been hiding from is our doorway and in this I find great JOY. To me. this speaks of the integration of the dark (pain) and light (joy) in the heart. There is a divine trinity in all things. As we move from our stuck forms of duality, we discover that the emotional heart cracks open the physical human heart to reveal the Spiritual heart. Our crystal bowl is now resonating that frequency through the waters of the Nile for all times. And so it is.

Once again, I wish to acknowledge each person connected with our journey in any way. This mission could not have been accomplished without each and every one of you and the roles you were willing to play. To all of you who played dark roles for me during these months leading up to and during this trip, I thank you. I have found a new power in my darkness. I have verified the beauty of my broken heart. Thanks to all of you who followed along with us in your dreams and in your hearts. Thank you to the 12 who walked through every step of this awakening. Thanks to all the incredible supportive people at home who sent us courage and love. Thank you to all the tremendous Egyptian people who guided us, held us, cared for us and taught us. Finally, thank you to Carol Petropulos, Lauren Pomeranz and Nancy Joy Hefron for staying open long enough to learn To Love It All!

Please stay in touch. I learn so much from your sharing. I have appreciated all the feedback on these stories. I plan to continue writing and sharing from my heart. Somehow, this will all come together in a perfect tapestry. For now, I am just enjoying the writing. Let me know if you would like a crystal shard from our cracked heart bowl.

Love and blessings,

In Lak'Ech, Nancy Joy

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