April 2021

When the Heart Speaks…Listen

“Your heart unconditionally loves you and will always speak the truth in love. There is absolutely no judgment in your heart. If you hear yourself criticizing or blaming yourself or others, it is not I, your heart, you are hearing. The heart knows no right or wrong, it only knows love and will speak to you of love, compassion and freedom. I do not ever use words such as need or want. There is no should or shouldn’t uttered from these depths. Neediness need not apply for a space in the solar heart of God that beats inside of each of you. Never and impossible are given no credibility or definition in my dictionary. If you are seeking justice, it is not found anywhere but within my truth. For I alone am the source of all integrity.

The truth of your heart sees every person and situation as the divine manifestation of your own beliefs. If you are unhappy with anyone around you, find that place inside of me that feels closed and separate and you will then understand that I cannot be filled by anyone but yourself.

Know that when your mind chatters different scenarios and what ifs to you day and night, you are being delayed on your path to enlightenment. Your heart doesn’t question; it already FEELS the truth for you.

I beg you, take your busy mind in hand and love it into balance with you. Hold it and ask it to speak to you of fear for it is only fear that asks what if. You heart knows that the past and the future are happening now. Be in this moment and feel the whole truth of your heart. Place your choices in my care and trust! Ask yourself when you are uncertain, do I feel love in my heart when I think of this or that or does my ego start its dialogue of deception to keep you from your power.

I know not the word safety for your Divine Self is the source of your supply and that source lives within your heart. I will call you to risk and invite change to become your playmate as you dance the dance of life. Change is the source of my expansion and I will sing to you of dreams that call you into action. Impossible is a word created to limit the heart and I die bit by bit when any of you move into complacency, feeling your dreams are impossible.

Any action taken with loving intent fortifies me and creates life force within me that I might expand so you can feel my power in ever cell in your body. I call you now deep into your body so together we may heal your emotions.

Sometimes you feel as if you heart is breaking when a source of love is withdrawn from you. What you are actually feeling is the void within me where I have not been loved and called forth to co-create joy, grace and abundance in your life. I am so gripped at times by your pain that I take on the pain you refuse to feel for you and it physically attacks my ability to pump life through your channels. Feel you own pain so that I do not have to. Through that experience you will find those parts of me you have forgotten and wounded.                       Where I have not been heard from for eons of time, I am in a state of cryogenics. I just need you to feel all your emotions again so I can enliven and reactivate my power and strengthen my life force.

To find me within your being and feel my expansion within your body, stop trying to figure me out and simply love me awake and alive within you. Open my door wide and invite all humanity to find shelter within my unconditionally loving vibration. There is no need to be afraid that I will be harmed for an open heart is the greatest power in creation. Only you can find the courage to empower my portal that together we may change the world.

I will sometimes speak to you of changes and patterns that you may not want to acknowledge, but always hear me out. My words are love and will bring tears of deep feeling to your eyes. When you feel me well up inside you and release, I am clearing channels to the heart for you to nurture and strengthen.

Thank you for listening to me. I am always calling you into my depths through feelings, sound, form, color and experience. Learn to tune into my powerful vibration and together we will increase the frequency of the heart until you and I are one again resonating in unconditional loving light and dancing in joy on earth. I look forward to your visits, and I am waiting for the time when you feel comfortable enough in my power to take up permanent residence within me. You will never again need to ask, “How do I know when it is my heart speaking to me?” For you are me.

By Nancy Joy Hefron

Every now and then there arrives a message from spirit so profound that you are left changed forever more. Such is the story I share with you now for there will be those of you to whom this tale speaks. It is a story of an angel and a small child whose love and understanding of the value of pain in our lives opened my heart to a great new depth of understanding.

I was seeing so many of my clients and friends in physical and emotional pain that I sought the council of Spirit through my dreamtime. I fell to sleep that night asking my higher self to bring forth wisdom so that I may better understand and assist those in pain.

Sometime during the night a beautiful energy called me from deep sleep and asked me to journey with her into the wisdom of the heart. She led me back in time in Iowa (the Heartland) to a place where all the people were living in fear. We visited homes where children were not allowed out of the house. There apparently was a sinister being about who was randomly shooting the people through the heart with arrows and killing them. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason for the cruel acts. No one ever saw the perpetrator yet no group was left untouched by the pain of loss and sorrow. Everyone was under suspicion and there was no trust among the people. Neighbor turned on neighbor and friend on friend. The heart of the land was gripped by fear. I ached for the pain I felt.

My guide then took me out onto the land…to the beautiful fields and flowing hills of wild flowers and forest I know as Iowa. As I looked across the land, I saw the land waves of Iowa surrounding me with the love of mother earth and all fear and pain were forgotten. We were riding my paint horse, Randy and laughing and galloping across the fields. We came upon two small children standing in the field. They seem to have come from nowhere. As I stopped to visit with them, the boy asked if they could ride my horse. Knowing the heart of Randy, I was delighted to share. As I dismounted and looked into the eyes of the girl my heart opened with waves of love. There was such love in those eyes, so unconditional and compassionate. I was profoundly affected. I lifted the boy up and then placed the girl in front of him and handed him the reigns.

As Randy trotted off across the land waves, I was entranced with the joy of Spirit filling me. Suddenly, there was a swish through the wind and an arrow pierced the heart of the small, beautiful girl. She screamed in pain, grabbing at the wound and falling from the horse. I was immediately filled with anger. I turned to my guide to protest the scene but she was gone. As I raced to the fallen child, I felt sick inside. I bent down and cradled her in my arms as she sobbed in pain, struggling for breath. As I looked into her eyes, I was amazed. They had not changed but were filled with love. Out of her eyes came tears of blood! I knew she was dying and I whispered to her, “Dear one, if you would just stop breathing, the pain would be gone and you could return home again to God.” As the last word fell from my lips, this precious being smiled and her breathing relaxed. Her eyes filled me with loving understanding and I heard her voice inside my heart say, ” Do you not understand, Nancy. It is to breathe into the pain in your heart. That is the pathway home again to God.”

As my heart filled with a vibrant, passionate energy, the scene shifted back to my bedroom where we had started. The child was lying on my bed, still holding the arrow in her heart, which was no longer bleeding or causing her pain. The scene was so present that my husband, Mark, lay asleep by her side with my kitty at his feet. I stood by the side of the bed with a healer and friend of mine and she told me to remove the arrow from the child’s heart so it could heal. As I bent down close, I asked her if I could remove the arrow so her wound would heal. Again she smiled and her eyes shown the wisdom of spirit and love I was so drawn to. She slowly and gracefully lifted her small hand, wrapped it around the arrow and gently pulled the lance from her heart. As she did, the arrow disappeared and her heart was totally healed. The room filled with an indescribable light and presence and as I stood there, the small child and the angelic presence that had guided me, merged into one. She reached out and placed her hand on my heart and encouraged me saying, “NancyJoy, tell all the people that only when they acknowledge the gift of the wound, breath into the pain and find the strength within them to remove the arrow will their hearts heal and know Spirit in all their being. The fear and rejection of the wound is causing the physical and emotional pain.” Slowly her image faded, but the room and my heart remained filled with a new powerful light of understanding.

So I share this story from my heart to yours, that together we may support and love one another as we ask Spirit to reveal our wounded hearts, breath into the painful feelings that arise and release the old patterns that no longer serve the expansion of the light within ourselves. To me this story speaks of facing our fears, feeling and expressing our feelings and activating our light bodies. The pain and hurt we have been hiding from is the doorway. Could this truly be the “going home”? I hear my heart leap with joy and shout, “YES!”

The Open Door – A Message from Nancy Joy

It is becoming quite clear through this work that feelings are our doorway into communicating and becoming co-creative with our souls. As our souls need to get our attention to guide us in our Divine plan, this guidance very often comes in the form of feelings. As chaos increases around us and in our lives, our feelings will begin to show us the open door. As it stands now, most of humanity has a minimal relationship to their feelings at best. If it feels good we accept. If the feelings are uncomfortable, we reject. At that point of rejection, we usually move into judgment and begin to project and take action to bury these uncomfortable messages. Sometimes we invalidate, bury and reject the feeling so quickly, we never consciously realized we had them.

This point of feeling is the power place. It is the juice for us to activate our participation in the upcoming lesson so we can become one with the message and

truly integrate the feeling into compassion and understanding. Humanity’s continued refusal to feel and heal all the emotions, especially the difficult ones, has caused our physical bodies to insist that we feel through pain, disease, and aging. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MS, depression and Alzheimer’s are all on the rise screaming to us to feel and heal.

Here is how simple and easy it is to begin the process of staying open and present in the feeling so that your Soul can step in and show you the Open Door. The next time you are triggered (an uncomfortable emotion gripping you in the gut, solar plexus or heart) invite the feeling to become your teacher. Stay open for the lesson. Breath into the feeling asking it to intensify. Identify the part of the other person or situation that is creating feelings of anger, pain, guilt, etc. What is it exactly that is making you so upset. Name the trigger. Is it control, neediness, judgment, invalidation? what did this situation or person cause you to get in touch with? When you have that piece of the puzzle ask your soul to help you find the open door.

Where is your reflection? It is ALWAYS there. If you get stuck here get some help from a friend or compassion guide who can assist you in expanding the feeling to find the lesson. Sometimes this part is the most difficult to understand. It may take some time to identify your OWN reflection. Rest assured, it is always there! What message is your soul trying to get through to you that it has created such feelings? This will always lead you to your next step.

Understand that your heart, higher self or soul is always leading you into your lessons. It is time to follow our hearts into our deepest feelings and allow those feelings of anger, fear and pain to transmute into compassion. Every time you suppress or deny an emotion, you miss a tremendous opportunity to move more easily along your Soul’s plan.

Give yourself this simple and important gift. Post it everywhere until it becomes automatic in your response pattern. The road map to fulfilling your soul contract more effortlessly is to feel, stay open, find the judgment point, identify the pattern, allow yourself to find the reflection and look for the open door to heal your own pattern. Whatever hurts, whatever feels like an attack, whatever seems not to be in sync with you, allow it to intensify. It is a message. As you allow the feelings to come, the understanding soon follows.

Wouldn’t it be a gloriously beautiful new world when a small child comes running home from school in anger at his friend and the parent can validate his anger, encourage the release and then show him how to uncover the reflection. WOW! I can’t wait. I am sure that as our planet and society become highly evolved, our feelings of fear that have manifested as anger, guilt, rage, shame, etc. will become so instantly transmuted into compassion and understanding that we no longer have to manifest our reflections through war, school shootings, sexual abuse and violence.

We are the engines that will move ourselves and our planet through the open door as we feel, heal and expand into higher consciousness.

Nancy Joy Hefron and Ezekiel

What exactly is ascension anyway? We all hear about it, read about it, listen to our Spiritual guides and teachers tell us of its inevitability. Somewhere inside of each of us we all desire it profoundly. Yet, it is illusive and certainly difficult to define and achieve. For the past 15 years, I have been searching, growing, experiencing and asking for direction into this mystery. Well, I don’t have all the answers. As my guide Ezekiel says, Nancy, I don’t know is a good place to be. After all, humble means teachable! But, I have been given this opportunity to share with you what I have discovered.

In the l980’s and l990’s, as we all connected more deeply to God within, we were guided into knowing that love is the answer. We were taught affirmations of love and self- acceptance. Our lessons were about forgiveness and loving one and other. We all held hands, hugged and loved as best we could. We open our hearts to do so. We needed to be shown those unconditionally loving places within our own beings. And yet, as we are now experiencing, the lessons keep coming. We feel triggered (emotions gripping us in the belly, solar plexus and/or heart) by friends, family, and co-workers.

Depression is running rampant on our planet. What isn’t working here? We have forgiven everyone. We opened to love and still we are not at peace with various situations and people that our souls have connected us with. What is the missing piece? What is the lesson we are not seeing?

I have discovered that the missing piece is that very part of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with…our very own shadow side. We may be uncomfortable with anger. For some tears do not come easily. Many of us are afraid to disappoint those with expectations of us so we disappoint ourselves instead. We are afraid that if we express our true feelings and emotions we will not be loved. We may be abandoned or rejected. Our expressed truth may ultimately bring us pain. That is what we all run from pain! Yet it is the very experience of our uncomfortable emotions that allows them to integrate and be at last loved again by us. To love it all means to love even the difficult or negative emotions. We are being asked to embrace our lower selves so our higher and lower selves can integrate. We are being asked to stop rejecting half of our feelings.

Our souls have always had a plan for us. They have led us into every lesson, every situation, and every experience with great purpose and knowing. As Ezekiel has always said, your heart doesn’t always lead you directly into joy but it always leads you to the truth if you allow it. In Genesis we are told that God created the darkness and the light and yet we so fear the darkness. Our shadow needs validation to become one with the light. When you protect yourself from negative emotions and energy, did you ever consider that you were protecting yourself from a part of you! At last the next piece on our pathway to ascension has been given to us. Are you ready to move to a deeper consciousness?

It is time to claim our dark sides…to love the forgotten inner children deep within us who were born into patterns and social structures that caused us pain. The Christians claim we are born into sin. I believe that we are born into the patterns that our souls have come to heal. Our egos are trying to keep us safe from pain by leading us into avoidance and denial. Spirit is passionate and vibrates compassion for all creation. There is nothing really bad, just rejected parts of our own hearts crying to be acknowledged and loved.

We are vast beings and we exist on every dimension, in many aspects through all space and time. We are truly sparks of God/Creator in human form. Ascension is the process of clearing our emotional patterns and blocks on a cellular level allowing more of our Godsevles to come into every cell in our bodies. As we are becoming Spirit so it becomes us.

Perhaps many of you have read or heard that we our transmuting from two stranded DNA to 12 strands. We are becoming multidimensional and the process of so doing is called ascension.

Truly we are not leaving to go to heaven. We are creating heaven in every cell in our bodies. So our souls are busily guiding us into some challenging and uncomfortable situations insisting that we feel ALL our feelings, acknowledge our truth and become REAL!

Are we ready now to truly live life with passion and love it all? Are we truly willing to find the center of our sorrow and sit with our pain without running to hide or fix it? Are we ready to ask our soul’s why we have created these feelings and what is it we seek to heal? Are we ready to use the fuel we have created to leap into ascension consciously? I have been working with the beauty and joy of unfolding these hidden parts of myself and others, using the Compassion Formula and other multi-dimensional tools being brought forth to assist humanity at this time.

To Love It All retreats and private sessions with Ezekiel and myself help you to peel back the layers of blocked feelings and emotions and unfold your soul’s path. With the guidance of Spirit and our soul’s we gently reveal and integrate feelings of pain, anger, fear, depression, guilt and shame to assist you in finding your passion for life again. These are life changing tools, which when learned experientially, create understanding and acceptance of the value and purpose for these difficult emotions. As you do this in a powerful group setting with trained guides and friends to assist you, you truly begin to clear the veil that separates you from the clear voice of God within. You become more and more multi-dimensional…no longer trapped by the old patterns and fears that have controlled you for so long. This work creates the launching pad for your personal ascension.

If you are interested in taking your next step. Please call me at 319-365-3398 or check out my web site for more articles, pictures, client feedback and information. www.heartlights.net.

The only thing stopping you is the fear of knowing how truly powerful you are.

Thank you for listening. Blessings!

Nancy Joy Hefron and Ezekiel

As received by Jelaila Starr

www.NibiruanCouncil.com

Your soul has a plan.  Feel your feelings in every painful situation that arises. Ask to intensify these feelings in every cell in your body. Feel your emotional and physical response. Breath into whatever feeling arises.  As your ego steps into projection, defense, anger and judgement…breath love into your ego and bring yourself back into the feeling. Express your feelings openly through anger, rage, tears, grief or sorrow or joy. Stay with the feelings. If you have a friend around ask them to assist…not to make you feel better but to encourage the emotion trying to express and integrate. As the feelings become peaceful, it is time to move into the Formula of Compassion.

1. What is the lesson I hoped to learn as I created this situation?

2. What is the soul contract that I made with this person to learn this lesson?

3. What are the roles each one is playing so I can learn this lesson.

4. What aspects of myself is this reflecting back to me?

5. What gifts have I created from this?

6. Can I accept this situation has been necessary for my soul’s

   blueprint to unfold for me?

7. Can I allow myself to release the negative feelings toward them and

   myself?  Blame, shame, guilt etc.

8. Can I release them and myself from the contracts?

9. How and when will I be kind to them and myself. 

To learn more or receive help using these tools contact

Nancy Joy Hefron

(319) 365-3398   nancyjoyhefron@heartlights.net

Nancy Joy Hefron and Ezekiel

More and more as I continue learning the “mechanics” of feelings and emotions and the important role this energy plays in our lives, I am discovering just how little we actually do know about this tremendously powerful source we have been blessed with. That makes each new discovery as exciting to me as the scientist in the lab uncovering the potentials, both negative and positive, of a new element, virus or source of energy. In a recent article, Ezekiel talked about fear as energy and gave the example of our old fear of electrical energy in our skies. For thousands of years we feared what we did not understand until some were brave enough to discover its value. Now electrical energy lights up our world with both negative and positive poles! Energy is neither good nor bad, it simply is. It is up to us to discover its potentials and risks.

Once my husband, Mark and I saw a science fiction story where space travelers found an unusual archeological piece missing one section. In search of that missing part they discovered it held the codes to using emotional energy to activate powers of the mind and heart. I have never forgotten that story and now I more fully understand why. Step-by-step, I have been led on a journey planned to help me uncover the value, use and integration of emotional energy.

By the end of 1999, Mark and I had been guided to El Shaddai (our home, retreat center and heart vortex) where so much of the emotional experience has been clarified. A series of lessons followed, as they always do, involving family patterns, pain and hidden parts of self. This emotional work expanded in my groups, private clients and sacred journeys. I learned to take apart the feelings and move them into expression (emotion). I was then guided to use this energy rather than release it. This is important, because released emotional energy can be used in a variety of ways by a variety of entities, not always with pleasing results for ourselves and our planet. Emotions released without the conscious intent of mind and heart backing up the flow are often projected and destructive.

I have seen again and again those times where the energy of the emotion consciously used has activated every cell with physical responses of goose bumps, chills, intensified energy in the body and a general electrical excitement. Ezekiel has guided me in the use of this energy every step of the way. Initially it was just to learn to expose the feelings, bring them into emotion and breath the emotion through the heart into all the cells of the body asking for integration and expansion. Just like any energy released in a container, emotional energy seeks to find its point of balance. Next came learning to use this emotional energy consciously to direct it to parts of the body and emotional blocks to begin to break them up. This has been incredible work. I have watched pain leave the body as true emotional and physical healing begins. I have witnessed resistances crumble apart as the walls come tumbling down. The human heart is able to become the immense generator it was designed to be. Ezekiel calls our hearts huge integrative generators that we are just learning to use consciously.

He often guides people in emotional release to breathe their feeling through their hearts while crossing the palms of the hands over the high heart or thymus. You can also direct this energy to a specific part of the body in pain and the pain will release. It is as if we have learned to move the feeling into motion and then direct this energy into our cells, through our hearts where it is taken apart and restructured to serve as a power source for healing and creating. For three or four years now, those working with me have learned to open the feeling, bring it into motion and use the energy of the feeling in motion directed consciously (using the mind) through the heart and into the places it is needed. The final step is bringing the energy into integration and being truly grateful for the feeling that led you into the healing.

One thing to know, once the emotional field is opened relating to a particular wound, efforts to shut it down again are futile. You have opened Pandora’s Box and now begins the arduous life task of using the energy created to change your life. I am continually learning how to use this emotional energy to create change and I expect I will be a student for a long time to come.

The first weekend in November 2002 was a full moon eclipse and a retreat here at El Shaddai. An unbelievable energy built for this particular workshop. There were twice as many folks gathered and a number of them traveled from various parts of the country to attend. I knew something profound was in the works. Everyone gathered here to move through huge resistance into a shift that opened a field in the emotional template on earth. The breakthroughs were powerful, easier than most and integrated quickly. Almost immediately following this workshop, I headed off to visit Carol Petropoulos (my Egypt guide and soul sister) in Tampa. The tempo and the energy of deep and quick breakthroughs activated at El Shaddai continued.

There was an unusually large group gathered for the Ezekiel Channeling Circle the first night. The workshop scheduled for the following day was postponed one day as that worked best for those who needed to attend. So, that freed up Saturday. As Carol, our psychic friend Deb Dienstbrier and I shared a quiet evening together, the next emotional template began to unfold.

Carol has always been one of my emotional teachers. Her most incredible emotional gift is her ability to stay focused and present in her emotional field. She perseveres and stays present with each feeling to reach the wound or issue more completely than anyone I have met or worked with. While I have helped her process and integrate these emotions often, she has helped me learn to stay present in the energy of the field and discover its use. We are a nice combination.

During the evening, Carol and Deb where telling a story about an experience they had while taking kitties recently to the vet. Issues had come up with the receptionist and Carol had been triggered. As we talked more deeply; it became apparent that there was still a fair amount of anger in her field regarding the situation. One thing led to another, and, Carol being Carol, she kept plowing forward to find the source of her pain. I guided her to looking at how one of her patterns is to pull discordant situations into her life. This is a pattern I have observed over the course of our friendship. She allowed us to travel to the place inside herself that is angry and discordant. She treats her self in this way. She was quiet for a time as these feelings sank in and we all shared a good cry. It was a segway into what was to follow and once again, Carol was doing the emotional unfolding as I was guiding and learning.

The next day we had a powerful workshop in Tampa and after the participants left we decided we each had some expression and emotional energy of our own to integrate. So, once again the three of us worked together. Interestingly, trinities are very powerful energy enhancers for any work. The absence of a third field is often why partners and mates get so stuck. In the laws of geometry, wherever there are two points there is energetically a third point.

Carol was feeling a large anger build up and when I asked what she wanted to get mad about; she said she wanted to get mad at herself. That felt so uncomfortable for me, which I shared but she was ready to blow so we just stepped back and supported her process. As she beat herself up energetically and poured fourth the energy of this angry feeling, I felt almost sick inside. I knew I was in resistance but I couldn’t understand where all this was leading us.

When she stopped to breathe, I held her in my arms and I asked her if it felt good to beat herself up. Deb put on a song at that moment and in a short time she moved us back into her anger and said “No!” ” I will not be told what I can be mad at. I will be mad at whatever I want.” At that point, Ezekiel got through to me and I questioned how we were using the energy of anger. I asked Carol if it would feel good to use the energy of this anger to break up the pattern that keeps her trapped rather than herself. Suddenly, as if we were three oranges on a Las Vegas slot machine we clicked into sync and helped Carol as she directed this anger through her heart with the intention of her mind to shatter unhealthy patterns in her field. As she completed her expression, her body coded with goose pumps and chills. This reaction went on and on, and in fact, Carol has said it continued over the next several days.

This was a huge new experiment completed in this emotional laboratory with great assistants on staff to successfully complete the understanding of this expanded use of emotional energy. Direct this force at the pattern, which caused the wounds and use it like a laser gun to shatter the patterns hold on your energetic field. WOW! This felt huge. During my last few days in Tampa, we were tested several more times to come into understanding. This opening took Carol and I to a new level of our friendship in many ways.

Time and again since this Tampa experience, I have been tested in this new use of emotional energy and the ways that it can be applied. I now feel as if I am constantly in the lab, both in waking and sleeping, taking this new emotional laser technology and applying it in my work and my life. Daily new pieces arrive.

This brings me to the December 2002 To Love It All retreat, which was small and intimate with only six women gathering to take the next step. Sandy Denke, an artist and emotional counselor from Fort Worth, Texas who had attended the November Retreat had sent up a Batch of art glass necklaces for me to sell. They were all coded with color and patterns that held specific energies. They were laid out on the sharing table and before the workshop actually began, all the women attending were wearing one of Sandy’s necklaces. One particular necklace was a pattern of copper iridescent spirals on a black background. As I opened with the Ezekiel channeling I was shown that the room was filled with these copper spirals.

Ezekiel said that this was a pattern in the template which would be activated as the spirals would begin to spin, bringing on line this long dormant field in the human emotional template on this planet. To make a very long experience short, a powerful shift occurred over the next 24 hours. There was one point where all six women unleashed their emotional grief and anger simultaneously directing the force of this energy to shatter the resistances and dysfunctional patterns and set the spirals spinning. Words can in no way describe the field that vibrated in our circle and ourselves as we breathed our emotional energy through our hearts and directed this force mentally to create the activation of this field.

For the remainder of our retreat, we played, danced and shared in this remarkable field of energy. We could tangibly feel this activation almost as if the chills and goose bumps that activated internally were a playable etheric material in which we could mold our intentions, heal our wounds and come into balance. I truly believe that we are just beginning to scrape the surface of the power of our emotional energy and its abilities to co create a new reality rather than trapping us in the matrix of our old fears. Many books have already been published on emotional healing and new techniques are gaining momentum. Each one of us that sticks our toes into this new energy to discover its properties is expanding the field and our abilities to use this force. A challenge for me has always been to write about emotional energy because it is so purely experience. I am realizing, however, that even though a scientist may never be able to portray the wonder of a discovery, it is important to write it down. It is up to others to bring it to life from these words and activate the wonder within themselves.

Emotional energy is simply an energy field with properties and uses to be discovered and used just as solar, electrical, nuclear, and magnetic energy have been used in the past. New uses and more understandings will be arriving daily. I am so excited to be one of the conscious emotional healers and scientists boldly going where few have dared travel for so long and discovering new worlds of potential every where I turn. I want to thank all of you who have worked with me, touched me, challenged me, taught me and grown into compassion along with me. The best is yet to come and a few set backs along the way will not alter the course of our success. Soon emotional energy will light up our world and expand our horizons.

I would like to conclude with the words Ezekiel shared at the opening point of this past weekend’s retreat. You will be using the power and frequency of the energy you will be generating emotionally and knowing and feeling more clearly what to do with this energy. No longer will humanity choose to remain victimized by their feelings. Step into the uncomfortable situations you create and use the energy of the feeling in motion to reveal and shatter patterns of fear and then use this energy to manifest your wholeness. Use the power of your emotions to SPIRAL into the shift! Blessings to all on the journey and, know, I am with you always. I am your feelings and my power comes as you put them into motion constructively in your lives. There will be mistakes along the way but all are just lessons guiding you back into true self.

Thank you for listening. Blessings!

Nancy Joy Hefron and Ezekiel

This is a story about a six-year-old Rainbow (Indigo) child. Before the story begins, a timeline will be needed to put events into perspective. This child has witnessed energetically her mother working in and on the emotional grid with the assistance of Nancy Joy and so many other courageous men and women who are following their truth and knowing. 

Where does any journey really begin? Last Spring several friends asked me when I was going to Peru again and if I would be willing to pull a trip together as they felt called to go. As I became still with the request in my heart a spark lit the flame of creation for that journey. The rest of what happened was so synchronistic that it still amazes me.

As I looked within for that still small voice, I was guided to create the space for a fall journey. I am an energy worker, with grids and ley lines rather than people, so I looked for a celestial event to coordinate with a fall Peru trip. I found a full moon eclipse at the end of October and just felt myself there on Machu Piccu for that experience. I also realized that we would be in Peru over the U.S. Election Day so I planned to be on Lake Titicaca that day. Little did I know it would be a life-changing day for me. All of my journeys seem to be created around celestial events that impact the earth, ourselves and especially the grids around our planet. With most journeys, I have a feeling right in the beginning if they are going to manifest and I felt strongly that this one would.

This would be my first Egypt or Peru journey without my friend Carol who had brilliantly opened the doors for those trips with me from l997-2002. I had feelings about that, but I also knew I was ready to create my own space and energy field in these two sacred places. I knew it would be powerful for me, but I didn’t realize exactly how powerful. At the end of August, I still did not have enough people signed up to make the journey feasible, so I reluctantly let go and cancelled. A few days later, I also let go of another endeavor that I had been working on for almost two years. Within an hour of sending an Email resigning from that project, I had a phone call from a woman in Northern California, asking me to please reconsider. She said there were three friends who were really guided to take the leap and got to Peru with us. To make a long story short, the trip was back on and began to create itself powerfully.

Shortly after that call, I received an Email from a famous astrologer explaining that there would be an event he called Harmonic Concordance II occurring during the October 27th eclipse. It turns out that this planetary configuration creates a pentagram of five planets at the exact time of the eclipse rebirthing the divine feminine back into wholeness. It was to be the culmination of the 2003 November 8 Concordance and the Venus Transit in June. Both of those events were very powerful for me as I energized them through my heart and consciousness with friends and family. I realized that this trip had more going on than any every day eclipse that happens several times a year. I was awed by how Spirit guided me along this pathway.

Lots of drama was created over the next two months involving money and who was going and who wasn’t. Even just a few days before departure there were ten of usintending to go. As it ended up, there were seven of us and our Peruvian shaman and guide Mallku. This was not without its difficulties and some of the issues still linger today, one month after our return. Yet, Spirit has a way of bringing just the right people together for a specific purpose and we eight souls jelled down to being the most incredibly wonderful and supportive group I have ever traveled with. Everyone, without exception, went through his or her own personal initiations and growth and yet everyone formed a group heart more powerful than I have ever witnessed.

I could go on and share a day-by- day story of such incredible events and initiations that you would be drawn into their magic as all of us were. There were times when we traveled through small spaces that were seemingly impossible to move through. We stood on a very small precipice hundreds of feet above the ground and spread our arms to become the condor. We became lost in the darkness of a certain powerful cave. We weathered rain, wind, fog and cold to be present for the eclipse and much, much more. For those who traveled with me and are now reading these words, please know that this is the journey through my eyes and may not be your experience. That is as it should be.

The most powerful experience for me on the journey happened early on the morning of November 2, Election Day, on the Island of Amantani on Lake Titicaca only three day before our return home. Interestingly, I had originally scheduled the group to be on the Island of the Sun that day, but earlier our guide Mallku spoke to us of the magic of Amantani known as the Island of Lovers. He told us how people where led to the Island of the Sun because that was promoted but the most powerful grid in Peru was actually located on Amantani where two mountains create a vortex of great power. On one resided the temple of Pachu Papa (the father) and on the other the temple of Pachu Mama (the mother) and in between the two was the powerful ley line that integrated the male and female energies of these two temples and yet more importantly, of the earth. I remembered that years ago when I studied the Flower of Life with Drunvelo, he had mentioned this powerful ley line. Ezekiel told me it was one of only two power grids on earth devoted to the integration of the male and female.

An important aside here is that just before our journey, a friend brought to my attention The Elf Transmissions http://www.upi.cc/elf/ suggesting that it was an important piece of my work in Peru and indeed it was. Basically these teachings tell us that not only were we separated from our wholeness and our knowing that we are God Creators but we were also fragmented. Inside each of us, the male and female are separated and the male energy is even separated from itself. This then created a trinity of separation that has caused duality to reign and enabled human beings to be easily controlled. A major theme during our journey was the integration of duality and healing of our fragmented selves. We toned and chanted all over Peru the Latin words, ” nunc pro tunc ab intitio” translating, ” as if it never was…to the beginning”. This became very powerful and laid a template or foundation for the collective work we did healing our fragmented selves throughout the journey and holding the original wisdom in our hearts guiding us back to wholeness. Through our hearts, we were to play a role in healing this separation and fragmentation.

And, my heart was exactly where my initiation lay. As I awoke at 4:30 am that morning I lay in bed for a few minutes thinking about the day ahead. Two of our travelers, Cindy and Steve where to be married at the temple of Pacha Mama as the lovers united in a special ceremony to be led by our Shaman Mallku and myself. It was the culmination of an incredibly powerful journey for all of us. The power of this union in that sacred space as we intoned the healing of duality was thrilling for me.

As I stood to pull on my jeans, my heart started physically racing very fast. This has happened to me before but not for quite some time. It had been attributed to menopause and hormonal imbalances. I always felt it was more significant than that and this day it would prove to be truly so. Sometimes I can do a Yoga breath and slow it back to normal but not on this morning. At first I was very frustrated but as it had never lasted too long in the past, I was sure it would pass as we readied ourselves to hike up the hill to the mountains above us. As we gathered to depart 15 minutes later, there was still no change. I told Mallku and the group what was going on with me. Steve, the man getting married that day, is an ER doctor in his 3D life and worked on me some to try to slow it down but it raced on with a mind of its own.

It was apparent to me early on that I could not make this long hike with the group. Every twenty steps or so I had to sit down to rest and breathe. It wasn’t really painful in itself but it limited my ability to get enough oxygen running through my blood to energize this activity. It felt as if I could never catch my breath. I reluctantly told the group to continue without me. Mallku sat for a few minutes and laid his hands on me and told me to slowly continue, as I was able. As I watched the group move away from me up the mountain the tears came. I held such overwhelming sadness and grief. I felt abandoned and alone and yet, I knew I was moving into a powerful initiation.

Over the next two hours I would climb ten or twenty yards and then lay down and breath, cry and feel this experience. It was not lost on me that last January I made a strikingly similar journey all alone on a cold January night crawling up the hill holding onto my severely broken leg to reach help. (http://www.heartlights.net/articles.html) article Breaking Through Fear

I finally reached the point where there was an arch or gateway to the temples. I had seen the group by this archway quite a while before but they had long since moved on. I lay down on a rock by the arch and soon I felt a hand on my shoulder. Mallku had climbed down to see how I was. We shared some thoughts and I cried quite a lot. He told me I was watering Pacha Mama with my tears. Then he told me a poignant story (He is a powerful story teller.) about a starfish that was dying on the beach along with many other starfish when a man came along and threw that particular starfish back into the sea. When another man asked why he bothered when so many starfish were dying anyway, he replied, “For this one it was important.” He encouraged me to go another hundred yards or so where I would come to the ley line that separates the mother and the father mountains and their respective temples. We both agreed I was to be there anchoring the energy while he led the wedding ceremony at Pacha Mama. Once again I watched him walk away to join the group and I felt so alone and sad.

With much struggle and shortness of breath I finally reached the ley line. I was exhausted and awestruck at the same time because from the ley line I could see the other side of Amantani, Lake Titicaca and both temples at once. It truly was a vortex of great integration. As my heart raced on, I lay down in a field right on the ley line to rest and feel. It was springtime in Peru and farmers had planted small fields of crops in patches all the way up the mountain. I wondered how they climbed this far and tended these fields. Already the shoots of new potatoes where peaking out to grasp the sun. I toned our mantra and said the prayers we had said as a group during the trip. The only thing I had with me was an amulet bag my friend and roommate Diane had lent me and, also, my water bottle. Diane has farmland in Iowa and had brought some Iowa corn to leave as offerings at the various sacred sites we visited. I was guided to plant two seeds of Iowa corn on that ley line in the potato field and water them. I said a blessing and felt somewhat peaceful having done my own ceremony. Once again, this was a powerful integration.

As I rested I thought that it was significant that my whole life I have been absorbed and connected to people. I am always with my partner Mark, my children, my friends, family and spiritual groups. It dawned on me how comfortable I was with people. Then I connected the dots. This was the second time I had created a painful and scary physical situation that forced me to move into my fears of abandonment and aloneness. Just as when I broke my leg, I was learning how powerful I am when focused on myself. Of course, being a facilitator on a journey such as this, it was about the only time I was focused on myself. Understanding began to seep through me. Ezekiel has always reminded me that we hide behind our greatest gifts. My heart was creating a sacred space one way or another. No people to hide in, only me.

That is the last thing I remembered at that time until I awoke two hours later in the exact same spot on the ley line, my heart still racing! I almost felt as if I had a missing time experience and I couldn’t believe two hours had gone by. Still the group had not returned. I realized I was very dizzy and disoriented. I felt so out of body as if I was walking in another timeline yet I couldn’t make conscious sense of anything that had happened. Another forty-five minutes or so went by and I had begun to start slowly back down the mountain. I must say it was a much easier walk downward. I stopped again at the archway to rest and soon Diane was at my side hugging me and asking me if I was all right. The next period of time is somewhat of a daze. I made it down the mountain to our little home we shared with locals on the island who fed us and gave us space to sleep. I lay on my bed as I listened to the group having breakfast in the courtyard below. Now married, my friends Steve and Cindy came up to work with me and share their wedding experience. I was so happy for them and yet still uncertain of what had transpired on that ley line. I was still very disoriented. Steve said my heart was still racing between 160 and 180 beats per minute. It was around 11:00 am so that meant my heart had continued it’s mad drumming pace for more than 6 … hours. He told me if I had come into his ER in this condition he would have used the paddles on me to shock my heart back to a normal rhythm.

We said our good-byes to our hosts and journeyed back down to the shore where our boat back to Puno awaited us. Not only was this day Election Day in the United States but in Peru it was known as Zenith Day. That is the time when the sun is directly overhead at noon and casts no shadows. Interestingly just as an eclipse does! When there are no shadows, all will be revealed. It was important to Mallku that we would be on the boat and out on the Lake for the Zenith ceremony at noon. I lay down in the cabin of the boat and Steve and Cindy began to do some energy work on me to bring my heart back into normalcy. Mallku went with the rest of the group on the top boat deck and did the ceremony above us.

Soon I began to sob. That grief was to grow and expand over the next hour and a half. My wailing and tears became almost uncontrollable as the feelings moved continually throughout my body while my heart raced onward. At some point, I noticed Mallku had returned and was sitting opposite the three of us. I know he was helping and holding a field for this birthing. Birthing is what it felt like. Each new wave was like a contraction. The next day my stomach muscles ached as if I had done 1,000 crunches.

My mid wives (Steve, Cindy and Mallku), just moved through the whole process with me and eventually I fell asleep. When I awoke it was after three o’clock and my heart was once again peaceful. I felt exhausted and that night I soaked in a hot tub and slept straight though awaking feeling great the next day as we headed back to Lima for our return home.

I agreed with Steve, Diane and Cindy that it was time to go get my heart checked when I returned home. Steve arranged this for me with a Peruvian cardiologist of all things. As it turns out my heart is just fine in the 3D world. In fact, it is very healthy. I suppose it would have had to have been healthy to race rapidly for almost 11 hours. I don’t know any athletes that could have matched that pace for that long.

The following night I returned to Iowa and Ezekiel took me back to the mountain and the missing two hours. I was hovering above my body as it lay still in the field on one of the most powerful ley lines on planet earth. I wondered what had happened to me. My first thought was that I was having an out-of-body experience but there was no cord of light attaching me to my body. So, I wondered if perhaps I had died and I tried to get back into my body and could not. I was again all alone. OK, I thought, if I have died…where is the white light I am suppose to go to? I looked around for all the people that were suppose to help me cross over. No one was there. I thought about my husband Mark and wanted to tell him what was happening to me. In that instant I found myself in a jet cockpit. Mark was sitting on the right and another pilot for the company he flies for was on the left. They traded flying positions. I tried to get his attention but just like in the movie Ghost, he did not respond. (He later confirmed that is exactly where he was at the time I would have been in the cockpit with him.) I felt so lost. That’s the last thing I remember. I awoke in my body on the lay line totally disoriented and confused. And, you know the rest.

So, what’s it all about? This has so many facets for me and I am sure I am still learning even more. It has been one month since that day. I feel I have many pieces of the puzzle thanks to all those who have helped me.

I was again alone to integrate and heal my own heart. During the Harmonic Concordance II eclipse on Machu Piccu the week before, I was told I would be going to two dark places within me and I would have to work hard to bring that duality into love. I feel that while crying and feeling the grief on the boat, I was in a very dark place. I feel I was in duality fighting between my urge to be with the group and my personal agreement to hold the field on the ley line for integration.

… I am a traveler from the future back to change and heal the past. I agreed to stay on that ley line during the election to assist in integrating duality. It is what I do. I work with the earth grids and fields. My heart made it possible to over ride my ego that wanted to be at that wedding ceremony. My heart gave me the opportunity. ( I have a Bush connection through my son and his Godmother that is very interesting and deep)

… My heart created a rapid drum beat just as a drummer would do to take himself into other realities.

… As Ezekiel said to me, “Nancy you can’t contain the energy of “Heartlights” in your work and not have a heart response.”

… It seemed almost like a near-death experience and in some ways it was. I am forever changed. How that plays out in my life will become obvious over time.

To everyone who was a part of this story, Thank You! In little and small ways I was pushed, prodded and energized to create this experience and I feel very blessed. The heart is truly an amazing thing on all levels of creation and I am learning more about its abilities daily. My appreciation and gratitude go especially to Brenda, Diane, Lynn, Kristen, Cindy, Steve,Shari and Mallku. May all your travels take you always just where you are meant to be and may all your experiences reflect your own Spirit to you always. I would like to conclude with a prayer that Ezekiel gave to me for this Peru journey. I now call this the Prayer of Integration. Blessings to all of you. NJH

Within my own heart,
I bring compassion to all duality I encounter.
In myself, with others and everywhere.
I trust myself.
I invite that which threatens or frightens me
To show me myself
So that I may shift this reality.
Compassion embraces me.
I live with my eyes, ears and heart open.
I am constantly creating myself
As I have always intended to be.

nunc pro tunc… ab itnitio
as if it never was…to the beginning

Nancy Joy Hefron and Ezekiel

Fear is a huge subject debated far and wide in our world today. There is so much to be afraid of…terrorists…the economy…job loss…disease…accidents. The list goes on and on, depending on each person’s own personal belief systems and patterns. We all know fear. It is the hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach as you experience or think about certain things. It can feel as if fear has your heart in a vice grip. Fear can wake us up in the night and keep us tossing and turning as we obsess and try to make it go away. Fear keeps us from our true potential. When we are feeling fear we tend to give our power away to anyone that can make this feeling abate. We avoid, deny and resist this emotion. Spiritually we have been taught to choose love over fear. Not so easy when we are in its grip.

In my work with clients and in my own life, I have built a new relationship with fear. It is based on fear’s value as an emotional tool in my life. This shift from avoiding it or loving it into using it to understand that my own pain has brought fear out of the dark realms and into the light of my heart. The following is Ezekiel’s wisdom on the emotion of fear and its purpose for humanity. I trust you will find this sharing as valuable as I have.

Greeting to all of you my beloveds. You truly are beloved by me as I am all of your feelings and emotions. You are my expression, my hands, eyes, ears, and heart in your world. One part of me that most of you find very unpleasant is the emotion of fear. Remember now, the feeling of fear is an inner expression and your response to that feeling is the emotion. Fear is one of the two major frequencies of your emotional body. All the dark emotions you experience grow out of fear. It is the negative pole of love’s positive pole. All of your light emotions emanate from love. As I have shared with you many times, your emotional field is energy. To understand this energy and learn to use it in your life is to fuel your own ascension process.

Fear as an emotion, is simply an energy to be understood and used for your own personal expansion and healing. Let us use the example of electricity. This is an energy you have learned to use over time to assist you rather than harm you. When you only knew electricity as lightening, it was fearful and caused harm. As you became more curious of its properties and began to step into its value rather than remaining in fear of its power, electricity became beneficial. In fact, I imagine it would be difficult for any of you to live your lives without it. You are aware of its potential to harm but in that awareness you have learned to use it consciously to create.

Truly, dear ones, when I was created by Spirit (which is you, by the way) I was given a full spectrum of emotional energy with which to assist all of you on your journeys through “being ness.” I have no judgment about this wide range of emotional energy and the value of each spectrum of my existence. All of the emotional frequencies where created out of pure love. Therefore, fear also is created from pure love and has that component of truth in its value to you.

I hear your questions as I speak. Tell, us then, Ezekiel about the value of fear. Tell us how to use fear as an energy that brings value to our lives rather than something that consumes us and terrifies us. Indeed, dear ones, I shall.

When you feel the emotion of fear in your physical body, please know that you yourself created that energy to alert you to something hidden deep within that is wounded and seeks to heal. Rather than beginning your process of obsessing, worrying and allowing fear to intensify creating sleeplessness and agitation within you, become conscious at this point. Cross your hands over your heart and breath deeply. Breathe the energy of this emotion right into your heart. After fear begins to feel more balanced, it is time to step into its message. It is NOT time to take a sleeping pill, have a drink, call a friend, turn on your TV or create busy-ness. Do NOT try to close your eyes and deny your fear. It is time to consciously say, OK fear. ” I feel you, hear you and breath you into my heart that I may understand your message.” It is so simple. Ask fear what it is trying to tell you. Journal or talk to fear through your imagination. Give fear a persona and work with it. Remember please, to trust your imagination. Where do you suppose it comes from? Why have you all been told it is not real? My dear ones, even if no answers are forth coming, the very act of accepting and integrating fear into your heart will shift that terrible feeling gripping you.

On a more practical level I would say that fear is a gift of great magnitude. It is a beacon flagging you to step into, not away from, the very thing you are afraid of. For example, let us say you have discovered a physical issue that is frightening you. Right away your ego will step in and use the fear you resist to lead you on a wild goose chase of obsessions and scenarios that are purely fictional. Here is your power point of consciousness. Instead, acknowledge the fear and step into it. Go into the physical symptom, explore it, talk to it, and seek professional help until you understand the value. You will find that fear followed has led you into your own healing. I DO NOT mean that being controlled by fear leads you into your healing. Just the opposite, stepping into your own power using fear as the messenger will lead you to your healing.

If there is a situation you are avoiding, I invite you to open the door and step into that situation right now. You will find the seat of your power and you will have used the energy of emotion and the frequency of fear to arrive there. Let me be clear here. I am not advocating that you force yourself into a terrifying situation. I am saying that it would serve you to take a step into it and explore. It is a scary ride until you learn to swim into fear and allow its energy to uncover the hidden wound. Remember the time when water was a frightening place in which to be immersed until you learned to use its buoyancy to float!

So, in essence my dear one, it is time to understand fear and stop resisting it. There is NOTHING in creation to be feared, only to be understood. After all, you are the God creators. Why would you have created fear if not to bring you back into understanding. Just like the reptilian fright and lights mechanism in your brain that can lead you to safety, so can the fear frequency of your emotional body lead you to safety. Much has been given here for you to ponder and pursue. I invite you to begin the conscious process of using the energy of fear as a frequency to assist rather than destroy, to enhance rather than deplete. The choice is yours. The willingness to harness this frequency to assist you on your way is right in front of you. As always, I am all that you feel. Thank you for listening. Ezekiel

Recently two major movies have influenced those of us consciously seeking to understand ourselves, our world and the universe we have created.  The first, What The Bleep Do We Know came out in 2004 and after much rejection, slowly moved it’s way into success finally becoming the fifth highest grossing documentary ever! The second film, ‘The Secret’ just become available in 2006 through private distribution.  Both films deal with how our thoughts and our feelings affect and shape our world but each approaches this universal truth in a different way. If you have not seen these films, it would certainly serve you on your journey to watch them both as soon as possible.  I have seen each one multiple times and get more and more out of them every time I watch.  I also believe that on an unconscious level, they act much the same as installing a new program in your computer.  Suddenly there is so much more available to help you accomplish your goals and live happy, prosperous lives.

 When What The Bleep came out, I was thrilled because for many years I have learned and then taught that emotions hold a big key to our healing. They are valuable life tools once we stop being afraid of them and learn to use them rather than allow them to use us.  This movie shows scientifically what I have suspected and worked with for some time.  When you have a powerful experience, your create an emotion and this alerts a particular location in your brain called the hypothalamus. This gland then secretes neurotransmitters (molecules of emotion), which travel through your body attaching themselves to your cells and even more specifically to your DNA.  They attach themselves to a place in your cells where they are use to traveling when this feeling occurs. This is a kind of like always taking the same road home from work without even paying attention to where you are going.  It is almost automatic because it is what you always do. It is your habit or pattern in response to a particular task.

 When the neurotransmitters attach themselves to the cell’s DNA, it activates a response and using your feelings as an indicator, you respond to that stimulus as you always have. In other words, you recognize the feeling and you activate the same response that feeling usually creates.

           ‘Oh yes, I recognize that anger that comes up when my husband acts like that.  I know how to respond.  Just like I always do.’ In the case of a good pattern, this is just fine. But, where you are stuck in dysfunctional behavior, it keeps you repeating unhealthy responses over and over again.

 So, as the movie indicates, if you catch your feeling before it completes it’s cycle activating old, unhealthy patterns, you can redirect it through your thoughts and feelings to respond in a new way, thus creating a new, healthier pattern. This is how I have worked with people for quite some time. I help them move into an emotion and then redirect its energy to create a new response.  I was overjoyed when this movie came out. It follows a story line of a young woman who had very painful experience years back and had continued to interpret her life through that experience creating more and more pain. After learning how thoughts and feelings had affected her responses, she is triggered into the same old anger and flips into a rage during which she breaks into tears and, very consciously, begins to love that angry self and bring all of herself into her heart. The movie then shows how her life changes around this new response to an uncomfortable emotion. It is an awesome movie with lots of interviews from credible scientists, psychologist and even psychics.  Often times it takes people several times of watching the film to begin to understand it. I feel that may be because the ego goes into so much resistance.  Imagine taking responsibility for your own feelings and using them responsibly rather than blaming others. Now that’s scary!

 After digesting What The Bleep for a few years, along comes, The Secret.  This movie rather ingeniously reveals the magic and awesome results behind the universal ‘Law of Attraction’ and shows us how to put it into motion in our lives. Basically our thoughts create our reality which most of us already know. If we dwell on what we don’t want, we create more and more of it. Instead, if you think about, visualize and feel what you do want to create in your life, you are able to manifest these things. It is a law of physics that like attracts like. I really enjoyed this movie’s upbeat presentation of putting this principal into action in life.  It is inspiring and even though I already knew and understood the principal, the film put my emotions behind the knowledge and served as a reset of sorts, reprogramming some old thinking I had become stuck in. I have watched it several times since for that very reason.  The film takes me from a destructive thought pattern and helps me restructure my thoughts and feelings to accomplish my goals.

 The one thing that I found difficult about The Secret is that I felt it did not adequately address how you get from a depressed and negative state to be able to feel and think about what you are creating and change your thoughts and feelings. Easier said than done.  The movie does address the fact that, just as much as thinking these wonderful thoughts, you also need to feel the truth of them. In other words, as I have always known, an affirmation without the ‘feeling’ of truth behind it has little chance of creating the change you are looking for. When I watched the movie with my son who, at the time, was very down and depressed with no job, lots of bills and college loans hanging over his head he said, ‘Yes, Mom, I can be inspired by this movie and I want to get from where I am to be that person who can think and feel that way but exactly ‘how’ do I do that.’

 All of us know how hard it is to think positively about life when we are in the midst of sometimes painful and difficult life lessons, which, as spiritual beings, we know we are here to learn. As I thought about this, so many things came to me. If all people need to do is think positive thoughts and visualize their dreams then perhaps I have been misguiding them into their wounded hearts.   Could it be by just changing, if they can, they never need go to the places I teach them to travel?   How does someone get from the down, depressed  ‘Point A’ to the happy, successful ‘Point B’? Should we expunge all negative thoughts from ourselves as quickly and efficiently as we can? Something in me says that, if we do, they will return to bite our butts at some point.

 Today, while having a meal with my family, we began to talk about the principals supporting both movies and again all these questions surfaced. Those who know my work, know that I don’t choose to buy into dualities such as negative/ positive, good / bad, right / wrong.  I believe the way to enlightenment, healing and oneness is by finally moving out of all the dualistic thinking we have been stuck in since we originally separated from creator. I believe that we are being called on to bring all dualities together into integration. To me, telling everyone to think only positive thoughts runs over your wounded heart on the way to becoming prosperous, successful and happy. After our brunch, I was cleaning the house when suddenly I was filled with such a wonderful feeling of contentment.  All those questions that had been playing a mind game with me evaporated and I moved into a place of great understanding and acceptance.  The answer lies in integrating the messages of both movies!

By taking the ‘how to’ consciously shift your patterns using your emotional responses taught in What The Bleep and applying them to the ‘law of attraction’ demonstrated in The Secret, you can truly create an integrated template and a great new life tool to actuate your dreams. Ingenious! Now we really have something.  Of course, as it always goes with me, as soon as I get a piece and am feeling clear, my soul steps right up and gives me a test involving my new belief and my own healing journey.

So, the next morning, bright and early, as I was putting the finishing touches on this article, the phone rang and the test had begun.  I had been energizing the principals in The Secret quite consciously for several months and feeling very positive and upbeat when’ BOOM!  My failures, past and present, reared their ugly heads bringing deep feelings of ‘poor me’ and ‘Why doesn’t anything I ever initiate to reach my dream succeed?’  Without going into all the details as they are only relevant to me, I can say that the same old emotion came up. I am a failure at achieving my dream.  I should just give up. This is so painful for me. And there I stayed until I reread this article again and consciously began to follow my own advice.

My past dysfunctional pattern would have been to flip into the higher perspective, which is that I would tell myself that the failures aren’t important because I am doing such a great work of service Spiritually.  On a higher level what I created succeeded. From there I would bury the pain and grieving connected with the failed dream. I would move on to conquer new vistas without even realizing that the hidden pain was sabotaging all my new vistas also. Just like the lady in What The Bleep, I wasn’t even aware that this old pain was trying to get my attention so I could feel the feelings of sadness and grief connected to it and redirect them to a healthier response.

You probably have already guessed what I did.  Right in the midst of my pity party I was able to identify the pattern from the same old feeling so I just remained in stillness breathing into the feelings of pity and sadness. I allowed the wells of ancient grief for all loses to wash over me and I began embracing myself.  I felt my courage in doing all I had done.  I understood the sacrifices I had made to grow. I began to value all the lessons those failures brought me and yes, I still felt an ancient sorrow but it was the kind of sorrow that felt comforting to embrace. It supported rather diminished.  I did this for a whole day and when I went into my final evening silence before going to bed, I was eager to keep stepping forward with this dream that only the other morning I had labeled a failure. The ones of the past were truly only failures because I deserted myself and moved on so I would not feel the pain of my own disappointment.

The next day I was back into activating the ‘law of attraction’ in my life but from a higher and more blissful place.  I am still energizing my dream and my new pattern shows me that when I feel this emotion again, its time to take another step forward with courage into my dream, not put my dream aside and move on to a new one. I am feeling I am now more able to be the true co-creator of my destiny.  I have long known how to transmute difficult emotions into a more constructive form but I never knew that in the process of doing that, I kept repeating my old sabotage.  At this moment, I feel clear.  There is still sorrow as I allow the past to present itself.  That is OK. I continue to embrace it rather than push it aside.  Perhaps, even I can truly learn ‘To Love It All!’