Just about every relationship distortion is based on one or more than one person hiding some secret or feeling. This is usually an action, experience or fear they are harboring and holding within their shadow because they are afraid. They are afraid that the truth will create pain of some sort in their lives. Now, if we have accepted intent to walk the pathway to back to wholeness, our own personal truth, it makes sense to realize that everywhere we are harboring a lie, a secret or hidden feeling, we are delaying our soul’s ability to lead us back again to God.
All our daytime TV soaps are based on the fear of truth. Without the with holding of a secret or feeling, there would be no drama. Why are so many glued to the dramas? It is because within there own lives they are living secrets and speaking lies. That is because our emotional wounds and family patterns run so deep in denial. If we really tell the truth, we may not be loved. We may be punished. We may end up abandoned and alone. All manners of fearful and painful emotional states will be bestowed upon us, so we remain silent. We expend much energy keeping our secrets and lies hidden. The energy it takes to hide from pain, in the end causes us more pain through disease, depression, exhaustion and even death. Usually this culminates in creating the thing we most feared in the first place.
It is important to understand this at a deep level. What we are hiding from is the truth of ourselves. If you are reading this book and hearing this message, you are already on the path to ascension. You are seeking to remember your divinity and to live in truth and love. That being a given, it is time for you to take a look at secrets and lies in your own life. We all have them. Some of them are huge shames we hold buried in our hearts, ridden with guilt. Others are little non-truths we speak daily to our friends and family to avoid the fear of rejection and keep the peace. Most often we are not even consciously aware that we are not in integrity with our truth. I will tell you that if you are hiding to keep the peace, you have no REAL peace.
It is time to take responsibility for your journey and be honest with yourself as you read this chapter. By 2012 we will have entered a new paradigm. We will be reading each other’s minds and feelings on a regular basis. This pattern has already begun. People are realizing their Spiritual abilities to know and feel at deep levels. How many of you have wanted to channel, read someone’s thoughts, or know what they are feeling as you interact with them. Already many of us are intuiting so much more than ever before. Ezekiel has always said that where a person is not in personal truth, that is where they will experience the pain. That is where they are vulnerable. Then, I would say, doesn’t it make sense to realize that on the pathway to ascension there is no place to hide?
You are probably already saying, “Yes, Nancy Joy, this is true but how do we get from where we are now to that place where we can trust to stand naked in our truth for all the world to see.” The journey begins as all journey do…one foot in front of the other. One step at a time.
The first step is to realize that your ego is holding onto to these secrets and lies as fuel to maintain a position of control in your life. When you were first wounded emotionally, the ego stepped in to do its job of protecting your from harm. Emotional wounds can be seen as harmful when you don’t understand that you are the creator of ALL you experience. As a conscious star seed, you may already be aware that EVERYTHING you experience is a gift you created to pave your own way back home. The wounded heart is your ticket to enlightenment as you learn To Love It All! You learned distorted patterns in your family to keep you in denial and in fear of the truth. We all have read and often repeated the words the truth shall set you free. Bingo, we are the jailers! We hold the key to our freedom. Our lies and secrets are keeping us in prison. Now it is time to ask your soul to help you begin to uncover your lies and secrets so you can (1) being to identify them (2) understand the patterns that created them (3) use the emotional gifts to integrate the fear and resistance into love and compassion. Once you ask you own divine and precious Spirit to show you the open door to your with holding, rest assured a door will open soon and your own hidden untruths will surface for healing and loving understanding. These simple steps are the beginning to living a life that stays current with your experiences and feelings. What a novel concept! Being truthful and honest in all you express and do is the pathway to all you are seeking.
Is What You Are Saying Real?
Here is a small pattern of my own that held huge pain for me as I opened to embrace this concept. I have a pattern from my childhood where I learned to avoid controversy by convincing myself that most things really don’t matter to me. . There are times when that may actually be the truth, but 90% of the time I do have a feeling about an event or decision but feel resistance in others or fear in myself. Rather than move into the resistance, my ego steps in and convinces me that I really don’t care. After I have done this for so many years and so many times a day, I forget how to retrieve my real feelings. Soul’s being the fantastic teachers that they are, this lesson was brought home to me one beautiful summer day some years back.
My husband Mark and I were enjoying a great weekend with our friends in Minnesota who have, among other things, a beautiful pool. We were playing, swimming, relaxing and sharing, just enjoying the sun. At one point, the ball we were using flew out of the pool onto a decorative border of sharp rocks. I said I would retrieve the ball and headed out over the stones in my bare feet. My friend said, “Nancy, don’t walk on those stones. They really hurt.” As I replied, “They really don’t bother me,” my left foot slipped off the edge of the pool between the pool cover and the steps leaving by right foot and leg behind. The physical pain as my body wrenched around to accommodate my position left me crying in agony. As I was lifted from the water, my friend said, “Now does it bother you, Nancy?” In an instant, I understood. Every time I thoughtlessly say that something does not matter or something doesn’t bother me when it actually does, I am injuring my little child who is hurt and does have feelings about many of these things that “don’t bother me.” I often times actually have feelings about many things that my childhood patterns do not allow me to express. Over the years, I became less and less in touch with my truth in any given moment and more entrenched in the pattern. I learned at an early edge that if nothing bothered me, I couldn’t get hurt. So my soul has helped me create many hurts, both physical and emotional, until I could go back and retrieve that pain this inner child has held onto through years of stuffing and lying about feelings.
As I recovered from a badly wrenched knee that still serves as a reminder occasionally, I learned to listen to myself and to my responses more consciously. I am still listening today. I am learning. I am remembering and feeling my way into wholeness one step at a time. It is, after all, the way to walk the path.
This is just a excerpt from one chapter in the Wounded Heart Book I have been very slowly unfolding… One step at a time… As always your feedback and comments are appreciated. Blessings NJH